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I hate being the mean one, but I WILL do it if I have to.
My use of this particular icon today has nothing humorous about it.
I just forced a very difficult descision on my family. You know my own horse, Mac, died on April 14th. The two horses left, Ginger and Bonfire, haven't been doing so great. Ginger, the oldest, is 34 years old, which is equiavalent to the 90s in a person. She's been growing weaker and weaker for years, and she's been panting for breath for the past two weeks. At first it wasn't much, but now it's like she's been running a marathon. All the time. Bonfire's (21 yeas old, around the late 40s for a person) front hooves are foundered, which essentially means they're permanently ruined and cause her pain. No cure for founder. This summer was especially bad, since for some reason, the heat makes it worse. She spent most of the summer laying down in the corner of the pasture with the deepest shade. No amount of painkillers could make it go away.
Yesterday I insisted that it was time to put Ginger to sleep, since she didn't want to leave the barn and could barely stand up. This isn't just about Ginger, though, b/c once she goes, Bonfire will be left alone, and Bonfire doesn't handle being alone well. At all. And since her feet are shot to hell, her life isn't too great either. But it isn't mine nor my parents' choice about what to do with Bonfire, since she belongs to my oneechan. Oneechan lives about 50 miles away, sends Mom a check for Bonfire every month, and actually looks at her maybe once every two or three months, when she comes over here for some reason. But this year, she hasn't looked at her since the spring. She has no idea of the agony Bonfire was in. My sister doesn't talk to me about fun or trivial things, let alone something as serious as her horse's well-being.
So if we pull the plug on Ginger, then we have to deal with Bonfire. Either oneechan takes her to her own place (and she can have horses there, they even have neighbors with horses across the fence who can keep her company ) or Bonfire stays here all alone and miserable , or Bonfire needs to be put down, too.
We decided along with oneechan for my dad to have a look at Ginger this morning, then I would look at her when I gave her lunch, and we would make a final choice. At noon when I woke up, I found a note left on the table saying Ginger seemed fine, and my parents had decided not to make the final choice today. And hey, they'd call oneechan and tell her that. Yay, a delay!
This pissed me off. They decided without my input. Me, the one who spends a good thirty minutes with those horses every day, the one who knows their condition and behavior better than anyone. I love my dad, but he's as observant as a brick. Ginger's marathon breathing has completely escaped his notice. But lo--he said Ginger was fine, so it's one more day oftorment life for her! My opinion doesn't matter in the slightest!!
Ginger did seem better when I went to give her lunch, but she didn't eat with nearly her normal gutso. I knew she felt more perky b/c the day was barely heating up. Here lately it hasn't been too hot, but the humidity has been terrible in the afternoon and evening. That would be the telling point.
So early this evening I went outside to give them dinner and then do my usual exercise. Ginger was standing in the barn, panting with her head down to the ground and her tongue touching the dirt, just like she had spent almost all of yesterday. I put on her halter and led her up to the water trough, thinking she might be thirsty.She was, she drank and drank and drank. When she was done, I tried to lead her to the gate and her food, but she refused. I let her go, then brought her food to her and poured it at her feet on the ground. She lipped at it, then left it to wobble into the shade of a large bush. She almost fell twice. She was so weak, it was like she had been tranquilized. I took care of Bonfire, gave her the usual dose of horse asprin, and went to exercise feeling miserable.
When I was finished, I went back to the horsepen to check on them. Ginger had laid down on the pile of soft dirt next to the fenceline, still panting her lungs out. I grabbed some hay to take to her. She saw me coming, whinnied like she always does at my presence, and tried to get up. She couldn't do it. She tried three times, half-way making it only to fall back down. All I could do was say "whoa!" and try to get her to calm down. She finally gave up and just lay there. I walked over and crouched next to her, petting her and sobbing b/c she was in so much pain and I couldn't do anything and couldn't seem to make my parents understand. She kept wheezing. I couls see her pulse pounding in her jugular.
I stayed crounched next to her and petted her face and neck for about 10 minutes, when she decided to get up again. She managed it, I don't know how. It was some sort of controlled fall upwards...I don't like to think about it. She was so weak, and her arthritic legs and hips made it so difficult. But she managed it somehow. I brushed the clinging dirt off with my hands and swore to her that this time, I would make my parernts understand. No more head-in-the-sand! No more denail! No more avoiding the issue!
I went inside and took my shower, then waiting in the living room for my parents to come home from work. When they walked in the door, I flatly told them that I had said last night Ginger needed to be put down, and now I'm saying it agin. I didn't care how perky she might be tomorrow morning, it needs to be done. I described todays events, and told them in no uncertain terms that it was time. No more delays!
They agreed. I'm sad that I had to shock them by blindsiding them like that, but I had to make them understand!
Cut to now. My mother just told me she hung up from an hour-long talk with my oneechan, who was sobbing the whole time. B/c remember, with Ginger gone my sister must face dealing with Bonfire. Like my father, my sister lives by the head-in-sand method about unpleasant things. So now she must decide between the three options: leave Bonfire here alone and miserable where she doesn't have to look at the horse, take Bonfire home with her and have to face the pain every day and deal with her SO who I suspect doesn't like horses up close and personal, or have Bonfire put down along with Ginger. My sister seems to think the vet won't be willing to put Bonfire down. What a crock! Most people would have had it done years ago! Founder = no feet = no horse! You see???? Denial! Head in the sand! UGH! Sometimes my oneechan revolts me.
My mother will be calling the vet tomorrow morning to schedule their visit to put down Ginger and have apointless look at Bonfire, probably in the late afternoon. We don't know if my sister will be able to deal with this and come herself or not. It could go either way.
And yay me, I'm the one forcing this entire crisis!!
Yesterday I insisted that it was time to put Ginger to sleep, since she didn't want to leave the barn and could barely stand up. This isn't just about Ginger, though, b/c once she goes, Bonfire will be left alone, and Bonfire doesn't handle being alone well. At all. And since her feet are shot to hell, her life isn't too great either. But it isn't mine nor my parents' choice about what to do with Bonfire, since she belongs to my oneechan. Oneechan lives about 50 miles away, sends Mom a check for Bonfire every month, and actually looks at her maybe once every two or three months, when she comes over here for some reason. But this year, she hasn't looked at her since the spring. She has no idea of the agony Bonfire was in. My sister doesn't talk to me about fun or trivial things, let alone something as serious as her horse's well-being.
So if we pull the plug on Ginger, then we have to deal with Bonfire. Either oneechan takes her to her own place (and she can have horses there, they even have neighbors with horses across the fence who can keep her company ) or Bonfire stays here all alone and miserable , or Bonfire needs to be put down, too.
We decided along with oneechan for my dad to have a look at Ginger this morning, then I would look at her when I gave her lunch, and we would make a final choice. At noon when I woke up, I found a note left on the table saying Ginger seemed fine, and my parents had decided not to make the final choice today. And hey, they'd call oneechan and tell her that. Yay, a delay!
This pissed me off. They decided without my input. Me, the one who spends a good thirty minutes with those horses every day, the one who knows their condition and behavior better than anyone. I love my dad, but he's as observant as a brick. Ginger's marathon breathing has completely escaped his notice. But lo--he said Ginger was fine, so it's one more day of
Ginger did seem better when I went to give her lunch, but she didn't eat with nearly her normal gutso. I knew she felt more perky b/c the day was barely heating up. Here lately it hasn't been too hot, but the humidity has been terrible in the afternoon and evening. That would be the telling point.
So early this evening I went outside to give them dinner and then do my usual exercise. Ginger was standing in the barn, panting with her head down to the ground and her tongue touching the dirt, just like she had spent almost all of yesterday. I put on her halter and led her up to the water trough, thinking she might be thirsty.She was, she drank and drank and drank. When she was done, I tried to lead her to the gate and her food, but she refused. I let her go, then brought her food to her and poured it at her feet on the ground. She lipped at it, then left it to wobble into the shade of a large bush. She almost fell twice. She was so weak, it was like she had been tranquilized. I took care of Bonfire, gave her the usual dose of horse asprin, and went to exercise feeling miserable.
When I was finished, I went back to the horsepen to check on them. Ginger had laid down on the pile of soft dirt next to the fenceline, still panting her lungs out. I grabbed some hay to take to her. She saw me coming, whinnied like she always does at my presence, and tried to get up. She couldn't do it. She tried three times, half-way making it only to fall back down. All I could do was say "whoa!" and try to get her to calm down. She finally gave up and just lay there. I walked over and crouched next to her, petting her and sobbing b/c she was in so much pain and I couldn't do anything and couldn't seem to make my parents understand. She kept wheezing. I couls see her pulse pounding in her jugular.
I stayed crounched next to her and petted her face and neck for about 10 minutes, when she decided to get up again. She managed it, I don't know how. It was some sort of controlled fall upwards...I don't like to think about it. She was so weak, and her arthritic legs and hips made it so difficult. But she managed it somehow. I brushed the clinging dirt off with my hands and swore to her that this time, I would make my parernts understand. No more head-in-the-sand! No more denail! No more avoiding the issue!
I went inside and took my shower, then waiting in the living room for my parents to come home from work. When they walked in the door, I flatly told them that I had said last night Ginger needed to be put down, and now I'm saying it agin. I didn't care how perky she might be tomorrow morning, it needs to be done. I described todays events, and told them in no uncertain terms that it was time. No more delays!
They agreed. I'm sad that I had to shock them by blindsiding them like that, but I had to make them understand!
Cut to now. My mother just told me she hung up from an hour-long talk with my oneechan, who was sobbing the whole time. B/c remember, with Ginger gone my sister must face dealing with Bonfire. Like my father, my sister lives by the head-in-sand method about unpleasant things. So now she must decide between the three options: leave Bonfire here alone and miserable where she doesn't have to look at the horse, take Bonfire home with her and have to face the pain every day and deal with her SO who I suspect doesn't like horses up close and personal, or have Bonfire put down along with Ginger. My sister seems to think the vet won't be willing to put Bonfire down. What a crock! Most people would have had it done years ago! Founder = no feet = no horse! You see???? Denial! Head in the sand! UGH! Sometimes my oneechan revolts me.
My mother will be calling the vet tomorrow morning to schedule their visit to put down Ginger and have a
And yay me, I'm the one forcing this entire crisis!!
Tomorrow is not going to be a good day.