slr2moons: a self-portrait, of me in my usual habitat: in front of my computer monitors! (chibi s2m)
slr2moons ([personal profile] slr2moons) wrote2007-02-24 01:25 am
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Hmmmmmm....

I have Media Player paused on an incredible pic of my most beloved Gaara-sama at the end of Naruto Shippuuden #03. OMG. *shivers* If I could figure out how to save this image as a screen cap, I'd be pasting his lovely self all OVER here. *shivers again* Eeeeeeee!! I'm so incredibly jealous of the main character in my story, Minami. >< Okay okay, so enough Gaara-sama worshiping from me *shivers for a third time*

If I may, a bit of amused self introspection. No, it does not have to do with Gaara-sama, but it was inspired by my reaction to him.


In a rather amusing paradox, whenever I'm gripped by a powerful story, my very passion for it makes me sad. Oh, I'm overjoyed that I can experience the story in all its magnificence...be it prose, movie, manga, anime, or art...but it makes me sad that I'm not creating something every bit as powerful. I don't want fame or fortune. Sure, they would be great, but what I really want is for my creations to invoke this same passion in my audience. Thus, my sadness, because I'm not doing it. And to think Kishimoto-san, the mangaka of Naruto, was well into the story by the time he was my age. Damn.

*drums fingers in thought*

As short as a year ago, I was bound and determined that anything I ever animated, from concept to rendering the final video file, would be done in the US, or whichever country I was living in. I was so incredibly disappointed when I learned that Samurai Jack was preproduction-only  here, then animated in Korea. And Avatar, too. I simply could not understand why Genndy and the Avatar boys wouldn't want to have their personal studio working on their animation. Having my films/shorts animated in the US/wherever else I was living (likely Japan) would have been a source of pride for me. But you know what? I get it now. It isn't so much a matter of money, it's a matter of time.

I mean, the saying in animation goes that it can take 100 people one year to make an animated film, or it can take one person 100 years to do it alone. Damn. One of the reasons I drag my feet when it comes to animating is that it can be so tedious. Hours of effort translate into a few seconds of animation. If I had my own series, I could spend months animating each little episode, or I could spend months writing 5 or 6 episodes while the grunt work animation was being dealt with by someone else.

So yeah, I get the hiring of studios now. And I know me. I looooove to tell stories. Hell, every night before I go to sleep I conduct them in my head. And if you've ever wondered why I place so much body language and motion description in my fics, it's b/c I SEE the action in my mind. Every eye twitch and shift of weight plays inside my brain as if I were watching an anime. It's amazing, really. I can see these stories so clearly, but typing them out as prose and storyboarding is the only way to quickly cement them on paper, so to speak. If I want actual animation, actual movement...the pace becomes astronomically slow.

And something else I realized, this time 7 years ago: if animation were easy, everyone would do it.

Let me state that when I say animation, I'm not talking 3D CGI, but hand-drawn line art. Beauty and the Beast vs Shrek. I'm not completely against CGI, I see its usefulness in animating boring inanimate objects like vehicles, trains, boats, gears, etc etc And repetitive living thing like background crowds, fluttering flower petals, herds of animals. etc. But anything alive and full of character I prefer drawn by hand. Think Avatar and the traditional Disney movies from the past 20 years. The first Disney film with CGI was The Great Mouse Detective, for the clock gears at the end.

*drums fingers some more*

One of the good things about not being employed as an animator is that animation can remain an art form for me, instead of a job. Except I haven't animated anything in months, not since the Claymore-behind-schedule insanity began last summer and my free time vanished. And here I paid $450 for a good, solid 2D animation program last year, and I haven't touched it in 6 months. Damn.

But if I leave animation as an art form, then I'll need to do it myself, right? So it's MY art, right? *drums fingers* I suppose the thing to do would be to animate enough to grab some investors, except then they'd want dividends, so to speak. And I definitely balk at the idea of Movie by Committee. So maybe I could find some good artists to help me with the animation. They'd be MY grunt workers.  But how the hell could I find people good enough? I'd have to pay them to get any results or make any progress--believe me I know.

If I do it all myself, I would essentially spend 5 minutes on story, character designs, and plot, and then 12 hours on animation. Plypton really does it all himself, but he has a very rough and loose style, not like mine at all. And like most male independent animators, he tends to go more towards action, comedy, and shock value than character-driven drama. His stuff doesn't require much in the way of subtle art, thus his speedy, loose style. Hmmmmmmm.

So yes, I now understand the practicality of farming out animation to other studios, while the creators create the storyline. Hmmmm. *drums fingers*

Of course, all this is moot until I finalize my movie ideas anyway. I can't even decide on a final character design. But then, I haven't drawn my main character in months, either.


The big question is...WOULD I rather trade being able to write out and storyboard the actual plot and design the characters and general look of an entire epic saga OVER animating each little frame of a 5 minute project by myself??????

Answer: yes. 

Ttaku mo. ><

/end introspection