slr2moons

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( In which s2m deals with some inner demons involved with the use of her relaxation and spare time...AKA: I might read too much... )

Mina-san, I'm conflicted. :|

Thanks to a friend, I have the chance to download an almost infinte number of manga scanlations, including one long series by a mangaka that I love. Now, this series in particular is not licensed as far as I know. So it should be fair game for reading for free. I mean, scanlations aren't all that different from borrowing a book from a library..only you get to keep the book, in this case.

But I can't do it. Especially for something like Naruto. The licensed release is so far behind the anime and the Japanese release it's kind of laughable. But I love Naruto too much to just go out and read it for free online. It seems disrespectful. Not to mention that feels like I'm betraying and stealing from myself. I remember when a friend of a friend told me that he tried the Claymore manga after hearing that I worked on it. I was quite delighted when he said he liked it--until he told me that he read the scanlations. What?!?! I took it as a slap in the face! He might as well have told me, "I don't give a crap about your version. Not even to sit for an hour in a bookstore and read it for free." Grrrrrrrr. And for the record, I chewed him out about it, too. X(

I know that five of you on my flist have Japanese skills pretty much equal to my own. How do you guys balance reading the original vs someone else's English translation?? I know you all don't exactly face the whole I'm-stealing-manga aspect on scanlations like I do unless it's out of loyalty to me ha ha but still. What have you done to handle this??? If anything? Hanashite kudasai!

As for me...I should stop whining and start studying. *a very tired and resigned headdesk* Maybe I should start a kanji-a-day LJ com to keep myself motivated...

In a rather amusing paradox, whenever I'm gripped by a powerful story, my very passion for it makes me sad. Oh, I'm overjoyed that I can experience the story in all its magnificence...be it prose, movie, manga, anime, or art...but it makes me sad that I'm not creating something every bit as powerful. I don't want fame or fortune. Sure, they would be great, but what I really want is for my creations to invoke this same passion in my audience. Thus, my sadness, because I'm not doing it. And to think Kishimoto-san, the mangaka of Naruto, was well into the story by the time he was my age. Damn.

The big question is...WOULD I rather trade being able to write out and storyboard the actual plot and design the characters and general look of an entire epic saga OVER animating each little frame of a 5 minute project by myself??????

Answer: yes. 

Ttaku mo. ><

/end introspection

Ahhh...nothing says stress relief like a trashy romance novel. Yes! Complete with the tacky title ("Tender Rebel"), the embarrassingly luscious oil painting cover where the woman's breasts are almost falling out of her dress and the man's shirt is gaping, and those contrived plot devices like having to get married to stave off the evil money-grubbing distant relations! Yes!!! Ahhhh, but it's still so much fun to read precisely because it IS cheesy and over-the-top and brainless entertainment. ^^ Besides, I wanted something light to perk me up in the face of Clay.  Clare, stop playing with the Awakened Beings and go find Raki!! (highlight the blank space if you don't care about Clay v6+ spoilers)

What's fun about this particular trashy romance novel is that it was part of a Christmas gift of books from my 'nee-chan. When I saw it in the box, amid the fantasy novels I had also asked for, I gave my sister an evil grin and asked her just how embarrassed she was to have ventured into the romance section to find it, AND to be witnessed paying for it at the counter. She blushed and replied "VERY embarrassed!" Mwa hahahaha!! *is most definitely evil* I'm impressed she had the guts to do it!! Even *I* am self-conscious when I wander into the romance section, but for my sister to brave it borders on miraculous. Yay, oneechan!! You're finally lightening up and not being quite such a prude!!!!! Maybe one day, I'll even convince her to read one. *evil anime villainess laugh, complete with posed hand at mouth* Actually, as romance novels go, this one isn't half-bad. I'll probably keep it. ^^

I've been fighting the urge to write on my fanfic for the past 4 hours. Unlike reading or watching fansubs, I can't write in short 30 second to 2 minute bursts while saving/printing/processing commands. I have to focus everything on what I'm writing. But I shouldn't spare the time that would be needed for the fanfic. !!! Oh my. A few days ago I changed the name of my fanfic to "Distracting and a Great Bother". How incredibly appropriate. *more insane laughter*

I reeeeeeeally want to write on it.....why don't I ever feel this way about animation? Probably b/c writing is almost always easy for me, and animation is almost always not. I realized a few months ago that's why I'm an artist and not a writer. Writing takes so little effort from me, but animating is a completely different story. I have WORK to be a good artist/animator, thus it's a challenge, thus I stubbornly want to succeed. Isn't that twisted?? Yet here I am, longing to write instead of being a good girl and working on Clay until it's time for sleep. Or even longing to work on my sad, neglected animation skills. Omoshiroi. Perhaps I'll make a deal with myself. If I'm still awake and coherent by 4, then I can switch to the fanfic. I wonder if I'll make it...I'd like to have a chunk of chapter 3 at least outlined before I post chapter 2. That way if I need to tweak parts of chapt 2 b/c of events in chapt 3, I don't have to go through the "replace chapter" process at ff.net, which is rather tedious. I want to use Gaara's shoes later in the storyline, after the current plot ends. You know, in a sequel. But I'm not sure if throwing them into chapt 3 alone is enough...*searches for word*...mentioning...for it to work. I might need to bring the shoes up in chapt 2 first. And yes, his shoes will be a point in a sequel. It'll work, and I'm quite sure it will be fabulous. ^^V (Oooooh, such hubris!!!)

The hard part on my forthcoming chapter 3 and subsequent chapters (however many I end up with) is that so much of the ending is already written, back when I first was outlining the entire story. I was outlining along when suddenly the scene became visualized in my head and I leaped into prose. Then JAN! The ending was written. Only now that so much comedy has appeared in chapters one and two, I'll need to do some massive tweaking to make the ending match. *drums fingers* Not to mention that in the original, Minami wasn't frightened by Gaara until he was actually in her house and out of the shower ZOMG! The shower! And since she wasn't afraid of him, she didn't feel attracted to him until then, either. (BTW, I've surprised myself at how much I've written in the woman's lust for him. When I was outlining events many moons ago, I was embarrassed simply summarizing the lust and never imagined I've have the nerve to really write it out. Heh. Now who's the prude??!) Who knows if I'll ever write/draw/animate a real sex scene. Not that this fic will become shota, since that makes me squirm a bit! I deal with the age difference (at least 10 years, though I'm deliberately not stating her age for the same reason I'm not describing her appearance) in Minami's head in chapter 2. It's actually another unexpected humorous moment. *giggles* I'm silly...

And I'm typing this instead of working on Clay. Bad slr2moons!! *checks clock* Oooh...only 15 minutes until 4....Mwa hahaha!!