slr2moons: a self-portrait, of me in my usual habitat: in front of my computer monitors! (I trust you...)
Just now, as I placed the final touches on a manga page (Naruto v29 p139), I was singing along with the mp3 playing on Utena. It's been my favorite song for 10 years straight, and its throne has never been challenged. The song?? X Japan's "Forever". As I sang along, I realized it has been my fave song for a decade, and I recalled the various reasons why.

First, purely for the song itself. It's beautiful, sad yet hopeful, lovely, slow, and sung by a man with an incredible voice. I can't remember if it was subtitled the first time I heard it, and my Japanese skills at the time were limited to basic fangirl vocabulary, so my fanatic love was based purely on the song's sound alone.

Second, we have the emotions I associate with the song.


Music is amazing. Ne?
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6/1/07 22:33
slr2moons: a self-portrait, of me in my usual habitat: in front of my computer monitors! (Default)

I heard from Clay Editor. Apparently he's been away on a trip, so he's been away from his workstation for quite some time, and thus the script for Clay v9 is still not complete. So...yeah. I do believe v9 is shaping up to be like v8, when I received the script on the very the day the entire book was due. Heh. --;; I can only imagine what is going on in Clay Editor's life to delay things on this end so very much. Ouch.

For some reason, Tickle.com let me have free access to my complete Rorschach Inkblot test results. Here's the summary: "Your subconscious mind is driven most by Love. Your instinct to love and be loved is rooted very deeply in your subconscious and affects most of the decisions you make in life — whether you are aware of it or not. You inspire people to experience their true feelings of love and act kindly towards others. You also value your personal relationships more than most people. -->Your unique capacity to love may be greater than those around you, which means you may have more to give in relationships than your friends or romantic partners do.<-- Your psyche is very rich; the more you learn about it, the more you will understand who you really are."

Interestingly, this confirms up what I had already figured out about myself, which I marked with the -->arrows<--. The people I respect and admire most usually have the least amount of time for me. And when I am lucky enough to talk with them, I'm always wondering if I'm being a bother and imposing upon them, and get frantic thinking maybe I should let them have their space instead of calling or suggesting we go out and do something. I've noticed this often enough that it's made me wonder if being half-way ignored/forgotten is actually a requirement for me to admire someone. X_x Is this the after-effects of my hellish life outside of home? It's like I'm an emotional masochist: "I can only love you if you ignore me, because the only people good enough for my affections are themselves too good to have them for me!!" All right all right, I'm exaggerating. But I have noticed this strange tendency in me, and I have seriously wondered about it. Yet another obstacle in life for me to (hopefully...one day...) overcome.

With Clay 9 and the English approaching, it's time to prepare for intense mode. I've stopped working on Skip consecutively and am now doing Pink (page from hell = 3+ hours to complete) and Orange (moderate page = 1-3 hours) pages only. This means I'm jumping from place to place in the story. But it's best to get the hard pages out of the way now, before Clay and The English hit and suck out my energy. Bleague. Unfortunately I can't concentrate on Orange and Pink pages with Nana since I don't have the Japanese tanko for easy reference. One of these days I'll import them all. Wheee! There goes $150...

I'm being a weenie. Last night, one of my long-time email friends forced me to answer a question he asked me back in April. Obviously I did not want to answer it then, and I still didn't yesterday. But I knew he would never let it rest, so I finally laid everything out for him. Last spring he responded to one of those email survey things I sent him, and some of his answers were extremely suggestive and sex-issues-heavy. As long as I've known him he has never hidden his (to be blunt) "hard-ons" and his love for overly sexy women. After I read his survey answers last April, I replied that some of them scared me and that I'd never let myself be left alone in a room with him. He responded and demanded to know the reasons why, so he could defend himself. THAT was the question I didn't answer until last night b/c I hate lying and knew he wouldn't react well to the truth. 9 months later and he still demands to know. (Wha?) So I told him. His reply is sitting in my inbox. I keep eyeing it with much trepidation.

I'm already getting burned out on my Ranma tv season 3 box. I'm in the middle of the 3rd DVD. I'll probably finish it and switch to something else for a while. I hear my Donnie Darko and Citizen Kane Special Editions calling me....

I outed myself in regards to my job last night to a new friend. While I was at it, I officially outed myself on my fave anime mailing list as well. Thankfully, I have not yet been accused of "working for the enemy" like one person told me last year before I learned to keep my mouth shut. So yay for this time. ^^ In the end, no one really cares about the English artist anyway. Except those who apparently consider that being a professional means being a traitor to my fan roots. *rolls eyes*

I'm in love with my Pirates movie2 soundtrack CD. Words can't describe how magnificent it is. I'm getting chills thinking about it. Hans Zimmer is a GOD.  XD

slr2moons: a self-portrait, of me in my usual habitat: in front of my computer monitors! (Default)
I realized something rather interesting last night. None of my friends are fellow artists. Two of them DO draw, but they never show me their artwork, and they get evasive when I ask to see their latest bits of art. The only reason I found out the closer one, Kioko-nai, liked to draw was b/c I saw one of her sketches on their coffee table once when I was at her house, and complimented her younger sister on it, as I knew the younger sister drew. Imagine my surprise when she said it was done by her onee-san! Kioko-nai had never said a WORD to me about it.

Of all the reasons they might not want to share their drawings with me--let alone draw together w/ me in the same room (which I've only done once outside of art class, w/ Nuriko-chan)--the one that seems most likely is that they are embarrassed that they aren't as "good" as me. *taps fingers in thought* To add to this, I've given Kioko-nai two bits of art by me: a color copy of a sexy Mucha-style Nuriko (as in the anime character, not my friend) watercolor, and an original sexy Hotohori pic. Neither were hanging in her college apartment, nor in her room back home. I have no idea where she is keeping them, and to be honest, I'm afraid to ask.

...(thinking)...

I've always heard that if you want to accomplish something, you should surround yourself with people who have the same or very similar goals. So I should have lots of friends who love to create fine art, write fiction in some form, or better yet be animators. That way, everyone's ideas and passions fuel the others to advance themselves and their abilities, like friendly rivals striving to one-up each other with the aim of mutually improving their skills.

...(thinking)...

Since I don't have this inspriation IRL, I rely on manga, anime and Western animation, and prose fiction. But it's rather hard to get feedback from a book or DVD.

...(thinking)....

So how do I solve this problem?

1. The less complicated solution: seek out friends over the net through art-sharing sites, like Deviant Art...or posting to the intimidating Animation World Network forums--where I face the wrath of Those Who Hate Anime and Anime-Style Artwork. *has huge sweatdrop*

2. The IRL but time-and-gas-consuming solution: find and join a life drawing or other art class, either private or at a college. Prepare to drive 40 miles round trip at least once a week, as finding one locally would be a joke, not to mention filled with ultra-conservatives.

3. The incredibly huge but what I'd truly like to do solution: move to a more open-minded and artistic city, where I would then join a life drawing or other art class. Or perhaps I could make internet friends in said city first, then move out there w/ actual people looking forward to my arrival. Wow...that would really be something. *^^*

Of course, all of these possible solutions require that I actually DRAW so I have something to show people and talk about. These days I'm working 9-10 hours a day, every day, which doesn't leave much time for doodling. Indeed, I'm typing this on Utena (fun computer) while Tsukushi (work computer) is processing my latest Photoshop command.

But the addition of "artistic and open-minded" helps narrow down the "where do I want to live?" search beyond the former "not in the desert and not in the South" specifications.

Random additon: perhaps I should accomplish two things at once: find artistic friends and practice my Japanese by seeking artistic Japanese email pals to practice my language skills with. Hmmm...

Anyone have any thoughts or suggestions??? I'm actually making this my first public personal post in the hopes for some feedback. ><

manga lettering update (might as well "out" myself while I'm at it):
Claymore - vol 4 Scene 21 page 179, in the middle of a seemingly never-ending battle scene. Teresa is quickly becoming my favorite Clay character. Volumes 1 and 2 available in NA.

Nana - vol 9 first half is finished (chapters 29 and 30) Awaiting script for vol 9 2nd half and the Naoki/Trapnest 70-page vol 9 omake. Speaking of TN, I have come to the conclusion that Takumi is the root of all evil in this series. Volumes 1-3 available in NA, serialized up to chapter 9 (vol 4's first chapter) in June's ShojoBeat.

Skip Beat! - vol 5 Act 24 page 25, instant Ren gratification with this volume. Ususally I have to wait to see him. *^^* Volume 1 available in July, Skip preview of 1st 30 pages or so of Act 1 published in June ShojoBeat.

And I meant it about wanting feedback on my artistic friends problem. Perhaps the manga and magazine name-dropping will bring in readers...but really have no clue what I am doing with LiveJournal. Hopefully my settings will allow people to write, if anyone should want to do so. :P
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